Love Hurts
1 Corinthians 13:1-8 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
In the 70′s, a group called Nazareth had a song called “Love Hurts” that goes like this:
Love hurts, love scars, love wounds, it mars
Any heart, not tough or strong enough
To take a lot of pain, take a lot of pain
Love is like a cloud, holds a lot of rain
Love hurts, Oooo, Oooo- love hurts
I’m young, I know but even so
I know a thing or two, I’ve learned from you
I’ve really learned a lot, really learned a lot
Love is like a flame, it burns you when it’s hot.
Love hurts, Oooo, Oooo- love hurts
Some fools rave of happiness, blissfulness, togetherness
Some fools fool themselves I guess, but they’re not fooling me
I know it isn’t true, I know it isn’t true
Love is just a lie, made to make you blue
Love hurts, Oooo, Oooo- love hurts, Oooo, Oooo- love hurts
-Nazareth, 1974
Now this is not Adam Sandler’s “Love Stinks” from the “Wedding Singer” movie-That one goes: Cindy and Scott are newlyweds- whoooptyidooo-
He loves her, but she loves him (this guy right here)
He loves somebody else, you just can’t win
And so it goes, until the day you die
This thing they call love is gonna make you cry (I hate you)
I’ve had the blues, the reds and the pinks
One things for sure- LOVE STINKS!
-The J. Giles Band, 1980
Let’s just say Adam Sandler’s character in the movie is a tad bitter at this point and so he sings about his feelings regarding love at a wedding reception (to the family’s dismay). He has just been violently dumped by his girlfriend and is now lashing out in anger at anything that reminds him of his broken heart. Many of us can relate so well to this scene after getting our hearts broken- I have to tell you sometimes I have felt that love stinks, but nothing could be farther from the truth. What I have discovered though is that- love hurts. Guess what? I believe it is supposed to hurt (as biblically defined) due to the self-sacrifice involved and the risk we take in putting our hearts on the line. Although worldly in content and conclusion, the first song has more truth than the second, as we will see. Looking at 1 Corinthians 13 can help us better understand this concept.
In verse 4, Paul tells us love is patient. This is a tough part of the definition. We are usually not patient and get irritated when called to love this way. The word used here is makrothumei (NT:3114)- a slowness to anger or passion; long enduring temper, longsuffering, patient endurance, forbearance. It is opposed to haste and to irritability. It denotes the state of mind which can BEAR LONG when oppressed, provoked, and when one seeks to injure us. That HURTS, but that is love. Do you love like this? Here are four things we must work on in order to love as the Bible commands and as defined in this text:
1. Humility: James 3:9-18 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.
Humility hurts. It takes personal sacrifice of your will, your wants and your “rights”. In America we have the “Bill of Rights”- and people use them against each other. That wasn’t the point, it was meant to protect. While talking with Mike Patterson a few nights ago, he had a great insight- pride was the first sin. Satan had his heart set on the throne of God and got prideful Ezekiel 28. Each time you and I are prideful it reminds God of Satan’s desire for His throne. It is an unbelievably painful sin in God’s heart and mind.
1 Peter 5:5-7 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. This is why God opposes the proud- it reminds him of Satan’s downfall and shows an incredible lack of trust in Him and His plans for our lives. Put to death pride and clothe yourself in humility. God will lift you up! Are you humble like this?
2. Forgiveness: Matthew 18:21-35 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. “The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”
Imagine a person who has sinned against you, handcuffed to a chair- without forgiveness; you are holding people captive to something they cannot change. There are hand-cuffs on their wrists (no forgiveness) and they can do nothing about the past. Yes they sinned (remember you did too), and cannot go back- it is done. Their only hope in the relationship- is forgiveness. For-give: you give it- it is for you to give. Release them and watch the change in your relationship. Husbands with wives- if she’s bitter- forgive. He has been impure- forgive. The command is painful because it does not require their repentance. Prayerfully they will repent, and they must! There is no reconciliation without it, but you and I are commanded to forgive because we have been forgiven. Forgiven people are more humble, happy and fired up about their lives. Let’s put this into practice and forgive each other from the heart. Are you forgiving like this?
3. Encouragement: Hebrews 3:12-14 See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God. But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first.
Robb Hamblin told a story Saturday about a Bible talk he used to lead where they had no visitors and it was getting discouraging. He decided to talk to one of the other brothers about it and start believing that they could have 10 people come with the 10 members. They brought a couple of people at first, but eventually they had 9 people visit one night- you say- OHH bummer only 9. Wait- they used to have 0, and we are talking 9 souls! When others see your faith it is contagious-overcoming discouragement IS courage. Putting courage in others is- to encourage. Each of us desperately needs encouragement! Give it away generously and you will get it back from God and your brothers. There have been times that I was so down I went into a state of depression- as a disciple. Through prayer, Bible study and my friends I pulled through and it didn’t have to go any further. Before being a Christian- I spiraled out of control- no one seemed to really care and those who did had no idea how to help. God gift is that he gave us the church. Encourage one another daily! Are you encouraging like this?
4. Vision: Proverbs 29:18 Where there is no (revelation) vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. (KJV/NIV) With all the hurts disciples will go through, the trials, discouragements, persecution and pain- if you don’t have vision, you will die. That is what gets us through. I appreciate Chris Chloupek sharing at the leader’s workshop that sometimes he just spends time looking up scriptures on heaven to keep his heart right-We have to have vision.
Luke 24:45-53 Then he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, “This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.” When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God. Jesus was and is a visionary! He died for his vision of world conquest with the gospel. They hated the dreamer because Satan opposes a full out assault on the gates of hell! Jesus actually believed the gates of hell would not prevail against his church. Matthew 16:17-19 We can so easily forget that God believes in us and sees us as the hope for the world. Get vision and then give it. When it wanes- get it back by looking at our Lord and seeing his heart.
L.A. recently had 6 people baptized in 10 days while Kip and Elena were in London. 3 were from Cal State Fullerton led by Kyle and Joan Bartholomew. Seems like each time Helen and I leave, someone is restored or baptized here. Also, I just found out that the San Pedro Sula, Honduras church has grown from 50 to 75 this year with no full-time people. A few weeks ago they had their anniversary service. There were 320 visitors and 105 kids, giving a total attendance of almost 500! Dorian and Rosa Bonilla (who lead the church) had 27 visitors come with them! 240 of those visiting expressed a desire to study the Bible. The world can be evangelized in this generation! Do you have and give vision this way? You and I need to remember- Love hurts. But with humility, forgiveness, encouragement and vision- the church will glorify God as we seek to evangelize a city, a nation and the world.
Remember- He stoops down to make us great,
Matt Sullivan
